HOLY SHIT. ANN TAYLOR HAS STEPPED IT THE EFF UP IN THE MOST REAL WAY

Yesterday I had THE MOST vile experience ATTEMPTING to browse wedding rings at Michael C. Fina -- they barely acknowledged my presence. Maybe they're not in the habit of... selling... fine jewelry? To people willing to pay good money for fine jewelry??? Seriously? I had to ASK the woman behind the counter for help. And I was the ONLY PERSON IN THE STORE. Ew. Sure, I was wearing fuchsia leather fingerless gloves, so she perhaps assumed I was a drug addict or a thief or something (wrong on both counts). In actually, I interested in what they had for sale. Sorry, but my father and my fiance's father were both in sales, and you never know who you're turning down or turning away. (In this case, A PERSON WITH A BLOG! Who's not afraid to share her shitty experience with the reading public! Three other friends told me they had same experience trying to shop there. Since when do you need to "TRY" to shop??) So turn away, I did. But not before I noticed they had like the TACKIEST crap for sale near the door -- Ed Hardy-esque flame-lick cuff links and stuff. EW. I headed over to the diamond district, which, sure, can be sharky, but people actually TOOK their time to talk to me like they gave a shit as I attempted to look for a piece of jewelry that symbolizes my love and committment to my partner. So thank you, diamond district dudes, for giving a shit. And fuck you, lady who works at Michael C Fina, for not giving a shit. Because I'm trying to buy my WEDDING rings, so yes, I do give a shit.

SOOOOOO, long story longer, after that, I stopped into Ann Taylor because they had sparkly things in the window. AND OH MY GOD. Ann Taylor has SEEEEEEEEEEEERIOUSLY stepped it ALL the way the fuck up and gone from Grandma to Grand-NAW! Like, such an epic makeover it's like when Sandy goes from boring to whoring at the end of Grease. Except obviously neither Sandy nor Ann Taylor is/ are whores.

Okay, check out ALL of the super cute things I found at Ann Taylor online that I would wear in a single solitary heartbeat.

($65, AnnTaylor.com)

WHO among us would NOT wear this amazement chunky statement necklace? NOT I! I can tell you that much.

($120, AnnTaylor.com)

Um, I'm sorry, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I can no longer separate rational needs from irrational wants when confronted with this metallic jacquard leopard-print skirt, Ann!

($85, AnnTaylor.com)

Lately all I can think about is Glee and sequiny things. Unsurprisingly. This sequined tank top is as perfect as Puck.

($175, AnnTaylor.com)

ANN! WTF! I LOVE this grey slouchy boot! Seriously!? Jamaican me CRAZY!

($175, AnnTaylor.com)

Ann! It's cool, not tryin' to put a rush on you. I just wanna let you know that I got a crush on you.

($100, AnnTaylor.com)

ANN! It's like you CREPT into my closet and KNEW I have the BEST orange suede vintage jacket that this would complement PERFECTLY! GAH! Ann, it's like you know me better than I know myself. You devil, you!

Hi! A whole Chanel-inspired outfit! Bar jacket and all! I ADORE YOU, ANN!