Project Runway Episode 5: There Is An "I" in Team Gretchen

Better late than never, I am finally caught up with Project Runway's Episode 5, and let me tell you the word to describe it is explosive!! It's taken a team challenge, with the designers working in two teams of 6, to make it fashion official: Gretchen is an elephant-sized pill, and Tim does not have immunity this week. From what you ask? Just keep reading!...

Each team has to design a 6-piece collection that is on trend for Fall 2010, and one winner and loser will be chosen accordingly from each winning and losing team. But I must interrupt my train of thought for a minute to ask GAAAAH WHAT THE HELL IS CASANOVA WEARING??? He looked like a piece of seaweed in a Sarah Brightman video...Moving right along, the two teams in question are:
Team Luxe, with Gretchen in the 'volunteer' leader position (goodness knows why Michael C, who had immunity from last week's challenge, felt compelled to choose Gretchen as his team member when there were 11 other less volatile options), and Team Military and Lace, made up of the Peaches, Mondos, and Casanovas of the world. But I prefer to call them Military Gretchen and In The Bottom 6. Team In The Bottom Six

Right away we can see the easy and ego-free rapport of team In The Bottom 6, as each designer contributes an entire look toward the whole collection. In fact when Tim arrives for critique hour he seems really pleased, except of course with Casanova's garment (it's tradition). Tim thought it looked OLD, and to our dramatical delight Casanova cried diva tears of Theater proportions over having made a "senior citizen garment," at which point I laughed out loud and choked on my lunch.

Meanwhile team Military Gretchen is stomping around the workroom with a million pieces of drab looking silk, the designers zombie-like under Gretchen's controlling 'my minimalism is best and don't you dare bring in any bit of your own aesthetic into it' hold. Each piece so far looks the same, and after 24 hours A.J. is still in the sewing room working on what promises to be an ugly cream silk shirt dress with french seams.

On the Runway we pretty much already know that In The Bottom 6 are going home WINNERS, with a fresh and edgy combination of lace, chains, and military design details. I fully enjoyed looking at all the pieces (except for Peach's dress, sorry!). Go Underdogs! And the surprise of the day was Casanova's win, for his chic black lace top and those amazingly tailored pants with gold buttons climbing up the sides. Wait, did I use the word chic and Casanova in the same sentence??
As team Military Gretchen's collection stomped down the runway the first thing I noticed was the slightly nauseating (greyish-cream and maroon?) and coma-inducing color palette. And don't get me wrong I love camel and it's a pivotal color for Fall, but only when designed right. In fact Christopher's fluid camel pants were the only real point of interest in this 'Luxe' collection. In fact it turns out that Team Luxe was neither Luxe, nor a Team. DISCUSS!
Naturally, team Military Gretchen is reeling from their loss. Some emotions they are feeling: disappointment, anger, discomfort, shock, shock , shock...which are almost the same words the judges use to describe their losing collection: "it's not interesting, it's nothing, proportion problems, colors are ghastly, Golden Girl dress, granny shorts, unfortunate..." And finally we get proof of Gretchen's true military colors: She starts off in tears, defending her team's strong and cohesive collection -'United we stand' against the judges in a beautiful team of collaborators. Nina's eyes meanwhile look like they are about to shoot hot evil rays into Gretchen's face. Guest judge Georgina Chapman wisely notes that even though the collection was aiming for cohesiveness it's lost all designer individuality. Yep we thought that too!
Then under intense scrutiny, Gretchen conveniently flips her alliance and refers to her team's collection as crappy, and outs Michael C as their weakest link (although could you blame her?), even though he has immunity. So who is going home? Well the designer of the ugly cream shirt dress of course, and that would be A.J. The sad part though is that he admittedly leaves on account of a garment devoid of any A.J. in it, something that controlling Gretchen reveled in, and not only am I sick about it, but so is Tim.


Which brings us to a shocking, never seen before Tim moment. Shocking not because Tim loses his kettle top and turns a steaming shade of scarlet (which he doesn't by the way), but because he's never reprimanded a team before, with direct aim at one particular super annoying contestant. We thought him immune, but we were wrong. In frustrated earnest our hero Tim implores team Luxe "I don't know why you allowed Gretchen to manipulate, control, and bully you????"

...So it isn't just us viewers, oft manipulated by the producers, who are so irritated by Gretchen's inflatable ego. No, Tim has officially justified our very strong desire to hate Gretchen, and from now on, freely loathe we shall....

Image source: mylifetime.com