The Highs And Very Low Lows Of Cut-Out Heels

I'm truly not the biggest fan of cut-out shoes, especially when they're not sandals; the exception, however, would be Loeffler Randall's cut-out pumps, platforms, booties, and various iterations:

($575, Loeffler Randall, Active Endeavors)

These I can basically deal with. Loeffler Randall, they seem to know what they doing!

Therefore I was glad to see these far-more-affordable knock-knock-knock-offs at Victoria's Secret:

($150, Victoria's Secret)

At those prices, it's like two Loeffler Randalls for the price of one! And I really like the grey and black onesies. They're like the Herve Leger bandage dress of shoes!

($129, Michael Kors, Amazon)

Also okay!

($775, Chloe, Intermix)

Lurves the heel detailing, but OY VA VOY, too much patent. Heidi Montag also favors these, so that'll tell you something right there:


More bad cut-out heels and shoes:

(Giuseppe Zanotti, Intermix)

More like Giuseppe Za-not-ti. OH SHIT! Like something Christina Aguilera picked up at J.Lo's garage sale. Horbs.

($925, Dior, Neiman Marcus)

These Dior heels are either tragically melded together like couture conjoined twins, or else we caught them in the act of copulation. And I didn't know shoes could have sex.

($48, Jeffrey Campbell, 6pm.com)

The exact wrong way to do animal prints. Shudder!!


Um, perhaps the less said about these horrific Pierre Hardy cut-out shoes the better.

(Apprx $120, Topshop)

It's a sandal AND a boot! Rrr... remind me why again?

(Sold out, Chloe, Saks)

That these are sold out suggests to me that there are hundreds, nay THOUSANDS of women out there with equally horbs taste. The horror!

($160, HedoFashions.com)

Thankfully there are several of these disturbing stripper shoes left in all sizes!

($47, Pleaser, Amazon)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, these are mainly available in men's sizes.

($149, John Fluevog)

Marked down from $239. Priced to move. Quickly, one would hope. Gahr.

($48, Urban Outfitters)

The paperbag as shoe! Recyclable footwear, folks!