Bad Ideas In Footwear (& More!)

One bad idea is to be one of the most famous women in the world AND be under investigation for child abuse AND be involved in a major custody battle over your two kids AND to wear no underwear when you venture outside in front of throngs of photographers, like Britney did. Oopsies!

(Photo via Daily Mail)
I've got to say though... at least she managed to coordinate her bag and boots with her dress!

More bad ideas, in the form of shoes...

($170, daniblack, Piperlime)

God I hate a square chunky heel. There's just no excuse. And while I wouldn't go out of my way to absolutely insist upon wearing real fur, this fakety fake is just poor.

($45, Not Rated, Zappos)

The Zappos description refers to these as "ornate." You KNOW something's bad news bears when the one and only word used to describe it is "ornate." Never a good thing right there.

($99, Steven, Zappos)

It really just hurts my head sitting here and trying to come up with an instance in which these would EVER be acceptable for ANYONE over the age of 11.

($79, Zinc, Cutesyshoes.com)

Velvet AND Lucite? Perfect for the stripper who's afraid of heights.

($100, Carlos By Carlos Santana, Piperlime)

Ugh. Now, I actually will defend a select few styles of Carlos Santana heels, and I actually like the cute and style here, but the faux olde-tymey label pattern is SO played.

($150, Ugg, Uggaustralia.com)

Please, someone, put these on the next flight back to Sydney, I implore you!

($44, Michael Antonio, Cutesyshoes.com)

From the description: "A sexy, unique look thats right off the cat walk!" Okay, first of all, I'll do my best to try to ignore the fact that they spelled "that's" wrong. Next... "Catwalk" is one word. And... which catwalk are they referring to? Where is this alleged cat walk? Hell? Yes. That MIGHT be what one might see at Fashion Week in Hades. If that's the case then perhaps I will accept that.

($340, Salvador Sapena, Piperlime)

Wow. Actually, in the wake of the rest of the footwear seen above, these really aren't as heinous in comparison.

($12, Bamboo, Cutesyshoes.com)

These make me wanna pull an Owen Wilson. Sorry... Is it too soon? It's too soon isn't it?


Okay, should you actually discover a pair of Cutesy Shoes that don't make you wanna wretch, such as this pair by Zinc:

($69, Zinc, Cutesyshoes.com)

... These are actually pretty cute and look like Marc Jacobs... anyway, here's a CutesyShoes.com promo code to save 20%: GRAND... expires 9/1/2007.