I Am Not a Total Retard

I don't get this at all. What the eff is the big deal about this stupid tote bag? I'm all for environmentalism, but why would you stand in line to get the same thing you're going to see on a hundred other girls? The brouhaha over it is perplexing. Such fashion followers. Feh. Or should I say bahhhhhh. Here are 10 cooler tote bags you could carry this summer instead, the first several of which I spied this weekend at the Renegade Craft Fair:



Bang letter totes, $22. Would that my name were Quinn....





Bond Girl pirate ship tote and chandelier tote, $12 each.



Maryink fruits and veggies tote, $16, and letter perfect if you're actually to use it for toting groceries.



Pinecone + Chickadee broccoli tote, $20.



Lady Leisure brass knuckle tote, $26.



Urban Outfitters has a series of artist-designed totes for $38. Ubiquity would be a problem, but I do love the Jellyfish tote by Josh Cochran.



This one's hilarious. Jacobs by Marc Jacobs tote, for Marc by Marc Jacobs, in collaboration with Marc Jacobs for Marc by Marc Jacobs. $12. All his totes are available in stores only. There are a few. Here are two more:



Marc Jacobs Savannah tote, $10.



Marc Jacobs London tote, $10.



And one more to grow on: This is not available for purchase anymore, because I waited a little too long to blog it (I did get to purchase it though, yay me!). Regardless, their Art and Animation birds tote is/was down to $19.95, and I recently discovered why. It's retardedly large! I swear it hung down to my knees when I picked it up in the store recently. I have high hopes for it as a beach bag.